Thank you for this. There’s alot in here that dismantles the current ‘norms’ of what we accept and expect. I’m frustrated by the whole idea that green energy isn’t as destructive. People have bought into this sham and refuse to believe the destruction to the planet, indigenous peoples and women are at all tied together. On one hand we simply keep shouting climate change is a conspiracy while the other hand is busy continuing to water down any effective environmental legislation meant to protect our air, water, land, species and people’s to prolong our demise… all for the love of money. Thank you for the many layers of wisdom in your words and I’m sorry you have ever had to be put in a situation where you are left wondering if your ‘no’ will be honored. ❤️
Great post (as usual). To piggyback off what you said, it really is important for men to understand beyond the injustice of patriarchy on women, the effects it has directly on men.
bell hooks wrote: “Patriarchy is the single most life-threatening social disease assaulting the male body and spirit in our nation.”
From her work, Understanding Patriarchy. Much to be gleaned from it.
I admire the way you took on this difficult topic and equally difficult task. You did a great job of joining up all of the many aspects of patriarchy. Entering the coming presidency with it's white supremacy bent and it's already stated reluctance to acknowledge gay rights, let alone the obvious rejection of women's rights since the over-turning of Roe, it seems we must find ways to protect and support one-another. In an effort to do that, I am turning off the television for 2025 and reading. I have started with 'Jesus and John Wayne' by Kristin Kobes du Mez (she is here on Substack)- This book details how the Evangelicals have become who they are in our world today. It is an easy read though densely packed with names and details we all know over the passed several decades. My point in mentioning it here, is that this religion is key in teaching men to be dominant. This is not a side issue, it is the issue. Accordingly, men must dominate (even by force if necessary) in their marriages, in their family and in society. Woman are taught to not only obey him, but to always be thinking of how to please him. It is so sick and yet sadly increasing in popularity in our country. As an older single woman who does not attend a church, you can guess what they think of me. I encourage others to educate yourselves about this religion and it's very destructive ways for our country. And to connect with those you feel likeminded with.
Timely and much appreciated Kollibri. In the end it is power imbalances that sustain patriarchies. Sometimes it's just raw physical strength, sometimes it's political or financial strength. I can't think of a way to level the playing field and that is a source of despair for me even though I've never been abused and am the beneficiary of inequality.
Brave of you to publish this thoughtful piece. It reminded me I’ve long thought homophobia results from men being freaked out being on the receiving end of aggressive attention where they are the prey.
Thank you so much, Kollibri, for this brilliant post and for telling us more about yourself, which explains a lot. I was wondering why you seem so familiar and aware and kind, and now I know (some of the reasons.) I'm sorry for any abuse you've gone through, though you're using it to make connections with women that most men don't make.
There are so many reasons to never kill another tree or plant, and it's heart-breaking to see the murdered tree. It's great how you put it all together with patriarchy killing us and the earth, and the assaults on Indigenous people and all women.
Thank you so much, Kollibri, for this brilliant post and for telling us more about yourself, which explains a lot. I was wondering why you seem so familiar and aware and kind, and now I know (some of the reasons.) I'm sorry for any abuse you've gone through, though you're using it to make connections with women that most men don't make.
There are so many reasons to never kill another tree or plant, and it's heart-breaking to see the murdered tree. It's great how you put it all together with patriarchy killing us and the earth, and the assaults on Indigenous people and all women.
thanks. i've never experienced such pushiness and sexual manipulation until recently. its crazy how it feels on the other side, you may be attracted to someone but not ready or not ok with it for other reasons, and even with a no, its pushed and pushed and they seem ok with doing that and even bulldozing your boundaries without any moral recourse. i'm sorry that happened to you.
Thank you for this. There’s alot in here that dismantles the current ‘norms’ of what we accept and expect. I’m frustrated by the whole idea that green energy isn’t as destructive. People have bought into this sham and refuse to believe the destruction to the planet, indigenous peoples and women are at all tied together. On one hand we simply keep shouting climate change is a conspiracy while the other hand is busy continuing to water down any effective environmental legislation meant to protect our air, water, land, species and people’s to prolong our demise… all for the love of money. Thank you for the many layers of wisdom in your words and I’m sorry you have ever had to be put in a situation where you are left wondering if your ‘no’ will be honored. ❤️
Great post (as usual). To piggyback off what you said, it really is important for men to understand beyond the injustice of patriarchy on women, the effects it has directly on men.
bell hooks wrote: “Patriarchy is the single most life-threatening social disease assaulting the male body and spirit in our nation.”
From her work, Understanding Patriarchy. Much to be gleaned from it.
https://autonomies.org/2023/03/bell-hooks-understanding-patriarchy/
I admire the way you took on this difficult topic and equally difficult task. You did a great job of joining up all of the many aspects of patriarchy. Entering the coming presidency with it's white supremacy bent and it's already stated reluctance to acknowledge gay rights, let alone the obvious rejection of women's rights since the over-turning of Roe, it seems we must find ways to protect and support one-another. In an effort to do that, I am turning off the television for 2025 and reading. I have started with 'Jesus and John Wayne' by Kristin Kobes du Mez (she is here on Substack)- This book details how the Evangelicals have become who they are in our world today. It is an easy read though densely packed with names and details we all know over the passed several decades. My point in mentioning it here, is that this religion is key in teaching men to be dominant. This is not a side issue, it is the issue. Accordingly, men must dominate (even by force if necessary) in their marriages, in their family and in society. Woman are taught to not only obey him, but to always be thinking of how to please him. It is so sick and yet sadly increasing in popularity in our country. As an older single woman who does not attend a church, you can guess what they think of me. I encourage others to educate yourselves about this religion and it's very destructive ways for our country. And to connect with those you feel likeminded with.
Timely and much appreciated Kollibri. In the end it is power imbalances that sustain patriarchies. Sometimes it's just raw physical strength, sometimes it's political or financial strength. I can't think of a way to level the playing field and that is a source of despair for me even though I've never been abused and am the beneficiary of inequality.
I've noticed these parallels too, Kollibri.
I wonder if men realize that women are putting their lives at risk when they date someone.
And the plunder of nature seems to be of the same impulse.
Thanks for courageously posting about this.
Brave of you to publish this thoughtful piece. It reminded me I’ve long thought homophobia results from men being freaked out being on the receiving end of aggressive attention where they are the prey.
Thank you for your courage and very relevant points.
Thank you so much, Kollibri, for this brilliant post and for telling us more about yourself, which explains a lot. I was wondering why you seem so familiar and aware and kind, and now I know (some of the reasons.) I'm sorry for any abuse you've gone through, though you're using it to make connections with women that most men don't make.
There are so many reasons to never kill another tree or plant, and it's heart-breaking to see the murdered tree. It's great how you put it all together with patriarchy killing us and the earth, and the assaults on Indigenous people and all women.
Thank you so much, Kollibri, for this brilliant post and for telling us more about yourself, which explains a lot. I was wondering why you seem so familiar and aware and kind, and now I know (some of the reasons.) I'm sorry for any abuse you've gone through, though you're using it to make connections with women that most men don't make.
There are so many reasons to never kill another tree or plant, and it's heart-breaking to see the murdered tree. It's great how you put it all together with patriarchy killing us and the earth, and the assaults on Indigenous people and all women.
Also, I love the title of your substack!
Brilliant piece. Well said.
thanks. i've never experienced such pushiness and sexual manipulation until recently. its crazy how it feels on the other side, you may be attracted to someone but not ready or not ok with it for other reasons, and even with a no, its pushed and pushed and they seem ok with doing that and even bulldozing your boundaries without any moral recourse. i'm sorry that happened to you.
Thank you for sharing this in such an open and vulnerable way, Kollibri. It's powerful. Sending love and support.
Thank you for sharing!